Addressing Unfair Judgment and Some Misconceptions About Caregiving

It’s easy to pass judgment on others about what they may be doing wrong. Unfortunately, because of this, caregivers are often the targets of unfair scrutiny.

Alzheimer’s caregivers are frequently the subjects of pointing fingers, and folks looking on from the cheap seats are quite opinionated. Here’s the thing: Life looks different from a distance, and it’s unlike the microscopic view that caregivers have of their own situations.

Many misconceptions about caring exist, and when directed at a caregiver, these mistaken beliefs can cause guilt and unhappiness. It’s time to stop the madness.

Following are a few suggestions:

Cleanliness

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but for caregivers, there’s clean — and then there’s clean. Don’t judge a caregiver by the state of a person’s clothing, especially following a meal. Caregivers strive to keep their patients and loved ones clean and neat, but they also encourage them to feed themselves if they can. Independence trumps cleanliness — and spills happen.

We combat spills with oversized bibs to cover shirts, blouses, and tops and keep a change of clothes nearby. Every now and then, we’re caught out. Please try not to judge.

Unkempt appearances

Caregivers choose their battles, usually in descending order of importance. Showers, brushing teeth, and general bathroom duties are the order of the day. The stages of Alzheimer’s disease often dictate how many of these tasks are completed, which determines the standard of personal grooming. Unruly hair may not have made the cut on the day your path crosses that of a caregiver and their patient. A slightly disheveled appearance isn’t a sign of neglect.

Bedsores

When a person is immobile, lying in bed or sitting for long periods, the areas of skin that are continually under pressure are prone to develop ulcers, also known as bedsores. Older people are particularly susceptible, as their skin tends to be thin. Bedsores aren’t always a sign of negligence, despite what some folks believe. I was one of those people who thought that the presence of a bedsore was directly related to a lack of care. I changed my mind when I became a caregiver.

Regular repositioning and turning a patient can help to reduce the risk of bedsores, but it’s not a guarantee. It is disappointing to read in some health publications that bedsores are always related to the quality of care. It sounds true. If we reposition the patient often enough, turning them to an unaffected side, then bedsores would not be an issue. But it’s wrong.

Don’t judge a caregiver over a bedsore. Reserve your judgment until you’ve walked in their shoes.

While it’s true that any of the above situations could be related to neglect or abuse, they can also be due to some of the typical challenges that caregivers face. Please keep that in mind.

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Note: Alzheimer’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Alzheimer’s News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Alzheimer’s Disease.