Cancer by the Numbers

1: Number of times a doctor told me, “Best-case scenario, you’ll be stuck with a ‘frankenboob.’ ”

0: Odds a doctor gave me that I’d be able to get chemo in time to save my life.

3: Months a doctor predicted I’d live.

10: Age of my daughter when I got this prognosis.

9,342: Number of miles I drove for cancer treatment in 2014 — not including travel for radiation therapy — after Stanford Hospital agreed to take me as a patient.

$250: Cost per pill for post-chemo nausea medication.

$0: Amount per pill reimbursed by insurance.

2: Number of pills needed per chemo treatment.

8: Number of chemo treatments.

$5,859:  Total cost of hotel stays during chemotherapy.

$1,300: Total tax deduction allowed for hotel stays.

117: Number of hours I spent on hold with insurance companies, listening to bad music playing in a loop, during cancer treatment.

0: Number of doctors, clinics, and hospitals in my area that would accept my health insurance after the Affordable Care Act (ACA) passed.

$300: Amount I paid for one hour with the only oncologist who agreed to see me, on the condition that I pay cash in advance.

4: Number of days I had to avoid human contact after each chemo session to prevent infection.

2: Trips to the ER during chemotherapy for a zero white-blood-cell count combined with fever that nearly killed me.

1: Pairs of shoes stolen from my hospital room while I was in surgery.

2: Nipples saved from amputation during my breast cancer journey.

7: Number of pinprick-sized tattoos I got in preparation for radiation.

6: Weeks of daily radiation.

141: Miles from my house to radiation treatment, one way.

24: Number of cupcakes my daughter and I distributed on my last day of radiation, mostly to strangers.

427: Number of times I’ve been felt up over the past five years.

$460: Monthly insurance bill for my family of three before the ACA.

$1,740: Monthly insurance bill for my family of three after the ACA.

$26: Line-item cost of two hospital Advils.

$7: Cost of crossing the Golden Gate Bridge.

37: Number of times I crossed that bridge for medical travel.

$0.56: Amount per mile the government reimburses for business travel.

$0.415: Amount per mile the government reimburses veterans for medical travel.

$0.26: Amount per mile I was allowed to deduct from taxes for my medical travel.

57: Approximate number of weird, long-term side effects from chemo, including sore tendons, short-term memory loss, early menopause, and a tendency to like people a lot more than I used to.

3: Number of friends who died during my cancer journey, not all from cancer, and not including my mom.

$900: Monthly cost of renting cold caps, the “technology” designed to save my hair during chemo.

-30: Temperature the cold cap needed to be before I Velcroed it to my head.

15: Minutes each frozen cap had to be on my head before it got too warm and had to be replaced with a fresh one.

$35: Cost of a wig from the American Cancer Society after that technology failed me.

$11: Cost of the skull cap I wore when I wasn’t wearing a wig.

1: Number of skull caps I purchased because I didn’t want to give cancer an extra dime.

2: Number of times I had my hair done by a genius in Minneapolis who figured out how to put extensions on freshly chemo’d heads.

2,334: Miles I flew from my home to the hair genius in Minneapolis.

2: Number of houses I lost to wildfires during my cancer journey.

0.5: Number of houses my insurance company reimbursed for the losses.

2: Number of cars that crashed into rental properties my family owns during my cancer journey.

1: Number of cars that crashed into the coin laundry my family owns during my cancer journey.

1: Number of those drivers who were insured.

4: Number of times my car was broken into during my cancer journey.

0: People apprehended for any of these crimes.

170: Approximate number of essays I’ve written about cancer.

1: “Recovery Journals” I’ve kept since my diagnosis.

0: Regrets.

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